high school yearbook photos: windows into the soul

Joe Biden was that popular, good-looking, involved-in-everything (French club, track team, class president -- or maybe VICE president, HMMM?) guy who was still inexplicably nice to even the nerdiest of nerds. He would sport you a nickel for the pop machine!

Nancy Pelosi's family has mob ties, and if you don't make her head cheerleader, SHE WILL CUT YOU.

Huckabee was clearly a stoner. I shudder to think what kind of disgusting lawn clippings kids in Arkansas were forced to smoke back in the day.

Wait, I thought these were high school yearbook photos? Someone must have slipped a photo of George W. Bush at his bachelor party into the deck.

Check out Blagojevich. You know he was a booger-eating dork that even other nerds made fun of. No wonder he grew up to be so power-hungry: He spent his formative years getting shoved into lockers and trying to impress the jocks with his drawings of ligers and rambling stories about shooting wolverines in Alaska.

See the rest of the photos here and invent your own origin stories.

this is why the internet was invented

Specifically: So the masses could see the best parts of a terrible Hong Kong action movie called Gen Y Cops, without having to purchase it or sit through the more boring parts.

Gen Y Cops stars a bleached-blonde Paul Rudd, who is clearly just paying the rent with this trash. I’m not sure which is funnier: the awful dialogue, or the stilted way in which Rudd delivers it. You can practically hear his burning interior shame. It’s okay, Paul. Not everything can be Wet Hot American Summer.

The last 90 seconds, from “The ROBOT!!” on, are pure (unintentional) comedy gold. Honorable mention: The scene where Rudd gets kicked in the face underwater.

wow, who would have thought that miley cyrus was an ignorant redneck?

Dear Generation Y:

Racism is not cute. It is not funny. It is not a socially acceptable way to get attention or blog traffic. And even if you aren’t thinking “Bring back the Asiatic Barred Zone Act!” while you’re engaging in it, it is, in fact, still racist. Yes, even if the single Asian person with you, who surprisingly does not represent the billions of Asian people in the world, is inexplicably not offended.

We are not living in a post-racial utopia, just because we elected a black president. (And anyway this execrable behavior from you clearly predates the previous November.) Bigotry is still very much alive in the world. If you doubt me, I invite you to spend 10 minutes in the small, rural Louisiana town half my family lives in. Where, if you’re white, near strangers will feel comfortable ranting about Obama and fried chicken and painting the White House black to you. Because they assume, on the basis of your shared skin color, that you also share their views. Because it’s that common.

In short, please try to rub 2 brain cells together and figure out why crap like the above is not acceptable.

Love,

Generation X, who is sick of explaining simple concepts to your stupid ass.