Shorter Milo Manara

Women aren’t allowed to get upset over misogyny until every other problem in the world is solved. Also, something something Islam.

Look, I don’t really have a dog in this hunt, being as I do not care about comics.* But it seems to me that the fault here really lies with Marvel, who hired an illustrator known for sexualizing women to create the cover for an issue that was supposed to reach out to female readers. That’s pretty fucking tone deaf. Do you just hate female money that much, nerds?

That’s not to say Manara isn’t a giant sexist cliché with just a dash of racism. Also, this is fucking terrible art. It looks ugly and painful and like something he slapped together on a cocktail napkin between tapas courses. If Manara really thinks women are “like that”, he needs some refresher courses. Human spines do not work that way. I’m also confused as to why he seems to think that female superheroes don’t so much wear costumes as paint on a facsimile thereof.

*So it’s entirely possible I’ve misread this whole thing: Does Spider-Woman shoot her webs out of her ass? Because then it would make sense for her to be a) naked, and b) presenting her butt like a baboon.

Lomographers of Acadiana: Fort Jackson

April’s meetup had to be re-scheduled because of Granny’s funeral, so it was last Saturday. I chose Fort Jackson in Plaquemines Parish, a decommissioned masonry fort from the 1820s. There are a lot of those south of New Orleans, but most of them are closed right now because of Hurricane Isaac. I didn’t find anything online that said Fort Jackson was closed, and in fact there was a Civil War re-enactment there just a couple of weeks ago, so that must mean it’s open, right?

PICT0996, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

*bangs head repeatedly on nearest hard horizontal surface*

FUCKING LOUISIANA, I SWEAR. Of the many, many things that are annoying about this state, top of my list right now is that our parks and historic sites are constantly getting shut down due to hurricanes. And since fixing them up isn’t a budget priority, they stay shut for months or sometimes even years–and then by the time they get them open again, oh hey look out, here comes ANOTHER FUCKING HURRICANE. Katrina shut all the forts down for so long that they were only open for about 18 months before Isaac came along and shut them all down again.

What’s frustrating is there were still lots of people there; even just the outside is pretty interesting, and it’s right on the river. If they opened it and charged a small fee, they would probably have enough money to fix it up by the end of the summer. Maybe I’ll write a letter to whoever is in charge of parks and rec for the state. I’m not going to bother with Jindal, because he’s a Rethug douchebag who doesn’t give a shit about this state outside of how he can use it as a springboard to higher office. Good luck with that, brah.

However, driving through Plaquemines Parish gave me an idea for another shoot. I kept seeing signs for a town called Pointe a la Hache, which I thought sounded interesting, so I Googled it when I got home. It’s the parish seat, but it’s very near where Katrina made landfall, so it got pretty wrecked and only about 200 residents have returned since the storm. So it’s got kind of a ghost town vibe, and there are a lot of ruined buildings. The courthouse was damaged by arson over a decade ago and has been left as is, there’s been a “temporary” courthouse in nearby Belle Chasse since. The parish council has tried 3 times to move the seat to Belle Chasse, but it always gets rejected. Louisianans: we love to pay lip service about how much we cherish our history, but we don’t want to actually spend any money on preserving it. *sigh*

PICT1003, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1011, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1008, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1010, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1002, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT0999, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1020, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1023, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

rape culture: saying “hey, maybe don’t rape people” leads to a flood of rape threats

Feminist confuses Faux News host by suggesting that we teach men not to rape. Of course, that host was Sean Hannity, who probably gets confused when he tries to figure out how the cream gets inside of a Twinkie.

His solution to rape is that women should be armed at all times. If that’s the best defense against rape, why is rape an “accepted job hazard” in the US military? That means that if you’re a woman and you join up, you’re basically told “Oh, bee tee dubs, you’re probably gonna get raped at some point. No suing!” That aside, this is what feminists are talking about when we talk about “rape culture”: that instead of telling women to constantly pack heat, or never drink in bars, or never walk after sunset except in packs of a dozen, or wear a burqa, or basically NEVER LEAVE THEIR HOUSE, we should instead be telling men “It’s not cool to rape women, regardless of the context”. The onus of rape shouldn’t be on what the victim was doing, or wearing, or drinking. It should be on the rapist.

If you are a man and you already know this, then congrats, you are a wonderful and enlightened person and “teach men not to rape” doesn’t apply to you. But you are still part of the problem if you refuse to accept that hundreds of thousands of men in this country alone don’t know those things, because we live in a rape culture that is not invested in teaching them. You are still part of the problem when you scoff at the phrase “rape culture” and pretend it’s a paranoid invention of hairy-legged man-hating feminists, instead of a thing that exists. You are still part of the problem when you pretend “teach men not to rape” translates to “all men are violent animals who would jump out of bushes and assault random female passers-by unless women smacked them with a rolled-up newspaper when they tried to do it”.

What “teach men not to rape” actually means is that we need to repeat, over and over and over again, until EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS WORLD ACTUALLY GETS IT, that skirt length does not determine the level of a woman’s culpability in her own assault. That having sex with a woman too drunk consent is in fact rape. That terms like “date rape” and “grey rape” and “acquaintance rape vs. stranger rape” are meaningless prevarications. That just because you didn’t knock a woman down and hold a knife to her throat, you could still be guilty of rape. It means a hundred different things, and none of those things is “all men would rape if they could get away with it”.

And I think most of the men making this accusation know it, on some level. Believe me, I get privilege. I’ve identified as white my entire life (recent revelations about my ancestry aside), and I’m familiar with the gut lurch that comes with being told that you are benefiting at someone else’s expense. You need to get over it and accept that people who belong to other genders or racial groups probably know what it’s like to be a member of that gender or racial group more than you do. You need to listen to their experiences and not dismiss them because they make you uncomfortable.

And the people scoffing that something so simple could never work: rape in Canada dropped 10% soon after that country began its “Don’t be that guy” ad campaign. Teaching men not to rape–fighting back against rape culture–does work. It’s the ONLY thing that’s been proven to work. WORST. CUSTOMER SERVICE. EVER.

I asked for a bottle of absinthe for Christmas, because I’ve only been able to find it locally sold in kits, with glasses and spoons, which I already have. I didn’t get it. (I also didn’t get the bottle of rye I asked for. I think my mother secretly converted to Puritanism.)

But a couple of days later I read about a company called on Uncrate, which sells sample sizes of an array of European absinthes. Cool, I thought, because around here you can only get American absinthe, which sprang up when the ban on thujone was lifted in 2006, and it would be interesting to compare absinthe from different countries. So I picked one each from Switzerland, France, and Spain, and what the hell, threw in a glass, too. With shipping it came to just under $60. A lot of that was the glass and the shipping, the samples were $8 or $9 each.

A week goes by, I don’t get notification that my order has shipped, I send them a polite email inquiring about the delay. They answer that the Spanish absinthe has been backordered, they’re expecting it by the end of the week, I can either wait or pick another absinthe.

Okay, Customer Service 101, people: when someone buys something that’s backordered, you let them know, as opposed to just ignoring them and letting them wonder why a company took their money and then didn’t give them what they paid for.

I elected to wait, another 3 weeks go by, I send them another email asking when the backordered item is going to be in stock, as it’s now been a month since I ordered. I receive an email saying they “just now” noticed a “problem” with my shipping address, and they are no longer shipping via USPS to basically anywhere in the south except for the Carolina dues to “reasons”. But the good news is I can have my order in 1-5 days if I just pay literally more than double ($61 and change) for UPS.

WOW. Allow me to parse the levels of crappy service here:

  1. If you refuse to ship to a large swathe of the country for vague, unspecified “reasons”, you need to let people know that when they’re picking their shipping options.
  2. You don’t take a solid month to realize oh hey, we can’t ship to this address (because “reasons”).
  3. You should contact your customer, instead of just ignoring them and making them contact you.

Needless to say, I am through with these clowns. I told them the many ways their service sucked and asked them to cancel my order and refund my money immediately.

I’m really disappointed in this company. It was such an interesting idea, but they’ll need a lot of improvement before I’ll give them any of my money again.

mourning is for pussies!

It’s not horrible enough that gun nuts immediately–like, IMMEDIATELY–starting blaming the victims of the Dark Knight shooting for getting themselves shot because they weren’t patriotic enough to pack heat 24-7. Apparently spraying bullets into a panicked crowd running around in a dark room at an assailant wearing a bulletproof vest would have saved lives, WHO KNEW.

But now I’m seeing this conspiracy theory that the shooter was trained and given his orders by Obama so he would have an excuse to steal ALL the guns. Yeah, no. Maybe it would make more sense if I had a tinfoil hat on?

I honestly didn’t get where all this rancid OBAMA IS COMIN’ FER YER GUNZS OOGA BOOGA paranoia is coming from. I mean, I’ve never heard him–or any other president elected in my living memory–lean heavily on a gun control platform. Obama isn’t some free love, acid-dropping peacenik. Like everyone else to occupy the White House since Carter, regardless of party, he’s well to the right of the center.

Luckily a Facebook friend of a Facebook friend, who is apparently some kind of LOLbertarian (he claimed with, as far as I could tell, the internet being a non-visual medium, a straight face that politicians are “constantly attacking our 2nd Amendment rights”) cleared it up for me: it’s entirely based on half a sentence spoken 4 years ago before Obama was even the party nominee, taken out of context. Namely, the infamous statement “They get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.” Except in their minds, it stops at “guns” and concludes “…and I’ll break their grip if I have to break every one of their fingers”.

This is epically stupid on many levels, not the least of which is that this line had nothing to do with gun control or an assault weapons ban. Obama was pointing out the many ways that people who have been fucked by conservative policy get manipulated into voting against their own interests, and one of those ways is by making them think HEY THE OTHER GUY IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR PRECIOUS GUNS AWAY.

So thanks, dumbass. You just totally proved his point.

For a socialist god-hating pinko, gun control is actually pretty far down on my list. Much like the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is asked if she’s still anti-fur, my attitude is “Eh… who has the energy?” For whatever perverse reason, Americans are obsessed with guns, and I’d rather pick battles that can be won. At this point, I’d settle for closing the loopholes that allow teenagers, convicted felons, and the mentally ill to obtain them.

That being said, anyone insisting on their right to own assault weapons is always going to get the side-eye from me. Why not tanks and nerve gas, too?

The 2nd Amendment is a fossil from the Revolutionary era. Nowadays we have armed forces and police. Knowing a bunch of untrained morons are running around armed to the teeth doesn’t make me feel safer from, say, drug cartels. It makes me afraid of getting mowed down in the crossfire. (See: paragraph one.) Haven’t you ever seen a Tarantino movie? Whenever there’s more than 2 armed groups, everyone dies!

And as for the argument that we need assault weapons in case we have to overthrow the gubmint: I’m real sorry to bust your bubble Cletus, but you and Joe Bob and a few of your buddies aren’t going to be able to do shit against a military with nukes. If you hate the government that much, your best bet is moving to Somalia. They don’t have ANY government! HILLBILLY PARADISE!

the best part of ‘the last exorcism’ was the preview for the guillermo del toro remake of ‘don’t be afraid of the dark’

SPOILER ALERTS, although I doubt anyone gives a shit: The Last Exorcism was lamesauce, obviously. Actually, it was a semi-decent, if by-the-book and unamazing, possession horror movie; until the last 10 minutes, when it turned into a circa 1986 Dokken video. The “twist” was some Reagan-era claptrap about Satanic cults, right down to demonic fetuses and some dude wearing a hooded red robe. All it was missing was someone playing a Judas Priest record backwards. People in the theater were actually laughing and throwing popcorn at the screen.

The thing that annoyed me the most was that it was one of those “found footage” movies, like The Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield, so it was all motion sickness-inducing handheld shakycam… yet it had a soundtrack. Umm, what?

The main reason we went to see it was that it took place and was filmed in Louisiana. (Although not a single character had even the ghost of any kind of an accent.) People cheered when “Baton Rouge, LA” appeared on the screen at the beginning. But early on the film makers let it be known how much they think of the state: there’s this scene where they’re driving out to the isolated dirt farm where the allegedly possessed girl lives, and there’s an alligator by the side of the road. And the con man/exorcist pauses the car, looks right into the camera, and smirks.

Clearly the film makers intend the presence of alligators to be visual shorthand for what an ass-backwards state full of ignorant crackers Louisiana is. You know what, FUCK YOU. Yes, we have alligators here. They were here first. That doesn’t mean we’re all a bunch of cousin-fucking toothless banjo players.

I make cracks about this state all the time; but the difference is that I chose to make it my home, my family’s history goes back here for literally hundreds of years, and I actually love it. Seeing a bunch of plastic Hollywood snobs treat it like a punchline in and of itself makes me wish they’d all get devoured by hungry alligators.

Besides, them’s good eatin’.

shorter* ny daily news

LOL, bitches be shopping.

Last week, The NY Daily News ran one of those finger-wagging pieces about how all women are flighty ninnies who spend an average of three years of their lives shopping. Even though women are expected to be flawlessly put-together in our society, lest they be taken for scruffy, unkempt lesbians**, we still get to mock them for making the effort!

However, those three years are not spent desperately searching for the perfect pair of Manolos, although this is conveniently buried in the very last paragraph:

It isn’t just hunting for accessories or clothing that sucks so much time – each year, women spend nearly 95 hours shopping for groceries, the study showed.

WOW. So not only do you get to make fun of women for engaging in a behavior in which they are subtly and not-so-subtly encouraged/forced by societal expectations to engage in, you get to pad your numbers by including something as basic as shopping for food to put on the table. A chore which, in 99 cases out of a 100***, defaults onto the female half of the couple even when both parties are working full-time jobs.

They even include window shopping, which is copious amounts of bullshit. I deserve to be made fun of for looking in the window of a store at a dress while I’m walking into the bookstore next door? Where I went to buy a book that will help me decide if a certain religion is right for me, an entirely respectable notion in our society. God, FUCK YOU, NY Daily News. (I need a religion where I can still invite news organizations to copulate with themselves.) Although I suppose even buying that book would be worthy of derision, since all shopping is equally frivolous — so long as it’s being done by women.

Not to mention, with the invention of/widespread access to the internet, I’m guessing EVERYONE, of any gender, in a developed nation spends at least an hour a day idly looking at and researching things they might like to one day own. Or even daydreaming about things they probably never have a chance of owning. Hell, sometimes I like to “shop” for private islands and castles. No, really!

I would be willing to bet the rest of my unemployment claim that TNYDW also included shopping for new couches, cleaning products, clothes for the children, vacation plans, and basically everything that involves money being exchanged for goods and services. Except for cars, BBQ grills, and electronics, which are the only things society allows men to shop for without making them feel in danger of their penises withering away.

*”Shorter” format stolen from Sadly, No!.

**Please don’t leave me angry comments about how I’m an OMGHOMOPHOBE. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a lesbian, or that all lesbians look like lumberjacks. I’m saying that the patriarchy we live in tends to group women into categories of nice-looking girls (marry), heavily made-up sluts (fuck), and yucky dykes (kill).

***I don’t want to hear any NotMyNigeling, please. I’m glad you are able to ignore societal expectations and maintain a perfectly equal relationship. Most people aren’t.

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