shorter* jonah goldberg: “being called a mean name is totes worse than being reduced to a second-class citizen in your own country”

jonah_doughboy

Hate crime!

The real vicitms of Prop 8 are the Mormons; even though they thought it up, poured $22 million into its passage, and it has no discernible affect on their lives at all.

*”Shorter” concept stolen from Sadly, No!

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shorter* mike huckabee

These here fish are one male and one female, just like God intended!

These here fish are one male and one female, just like God intended!

If a few more faggots get stomped, we’ll think about respecting the LGBT community.

*”Shorter” concept stolen from Sadly, No!

god told me you’re all full of shit

god hates signsFew things amuse me more than hateful assholes who claim to have a direct line to God. This week’s it’s James Hartline (a “former” homosexual who was “cured” by God, which tells you all you need to know about him), who’s been spewing that the SoCal wildfires are the result of a wrathful God pissed about protests against Prop 8.

Each time homosexual activists attempt to force their agenda on California, there have been raging, massive, incinerating fires sweeping across the California landscape.

Today, people are running for their lives as 800 California homes have burned down and the firestorm is spreading like a nuclear holocaust. Yet, the radical homosexual anarchists rampage upon the streets of this state demanding the destruction of marriage and family, and the establishment of their socialistic dark vision for society.

Okay, first of all Jimmy Boy, there are “raging, massive, incinerating fires sweeping across the California landscape” every year. You can practically set your calendar to them.

Second of all, don’t you think the timing is a little suspicious here? How come God didn’t rain destruction down on California for the months that gay marriage was actually legal; or in the weeks running up to the election?

I hate to break it to you, but I speak to God too, and I must have a clearer connection than you, because He told me to tell you that the fires are punishment for the passage of Prop 8. Also, that you’re no fun at all ever since you stopped sucking dick.

Related: After pissing all their money away on the passage of an unconstitutional proposition that will certainly be overturned eventually, Focus on the Family has had to lay off hundreds of their pearl-clutching worker bees. Look, a tear.

and fuck your magic underwear, too

fuckmormons

Sentiment against the LDS is running pretty high in certain California circles right now. As much as I admire groups like Mormons for Marriage and Feminist Mormon Housewives, I understand the feeling. Lest I be called a hypocrite for yesterday’s post where I said that bigotry could not be used to fight another type of bigotry, the backlash against black voters “passing” Prop 8 is mistaken, and that’s my main beef with it. Blaming the Mormons (by which I mean their church hierarchy, which poured $22 million into the Yes on 8 campaign) is not.

This week I find myself even more inclined to declare their religion, with its baptism of dead non-Mormons and North American Jesus and magical golden plates, to be a stupid crock of shit; and to cordially invite any Mormons that take offense at this to blow me. However, it should be noted that even during weeks where the mass of their congregants didn’t vote to strip a minority of my fellow Calfornians of their civil rights because of religious bigotry, I’m not shy about such statements.

I do wonder why Mormons who believe in same-sex marriage, or who disagree with any number of other crazy or ass-backwards church tenets don’t just pick up and find some other religion that doesn’t make their blood boil. But I guess it’s like the homophobes who will say of gay Californians, “Whatever, why don’t they just move to Massachussetts?” California is their home, and they’re not going to just give up and move somewhere else. Mormons who support same-sex marriage still consider themselves Mormons, which is a faith that’s always put enormous stock on heritage and ancestry. It would be nothing short of traumatic for a lot of them to leave their church. Instead they want to fight to make it a better church, and as much as the concept of magic underwear baffles me (and as much sarcastic shit that I, as an atheist, will always talk), I do applaud them for it.

But I ever get a certificate in the mail saying “Congrats, your beloved and deceased grandfather is now a Mormon!”, I’m going to tape it to a brick, set it on fire, and hurl it through the closest Temple window. You’ve been warned.

Worth watching: Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on the passage of Prop 8.

I’ve heard all the stories about how Keith Olbermann is allegedly an overbearing bully with a comically inflated ego and issues with women. (Although his obvious respect for Rachel Maddow makes me doubt the last part, at least.) And you know what? I really don’t give a shit. The man has a way of saying everything that I wish I could, were I not too busy with all the forehead veins a-bustin’.

governator offers encouragement to prop 8 opponents; uses inevitable bodybuilding metaphor

 prop20820hot20guy

Dude, I so feel your pain.

Schwarzenegger publicly opposed Proposition 8, which amends the state Constitution to declare that “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”

On Sunday, he urged backers of gay marriage to follow the lesson he learned as a bodybuilder trying to lift weights that were too heavy for him at first. “I learned that you should never ever give up. . . . They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done.”

Protests have been sprouting up all over the state since last week’s narrow passage of Prop 8, often centered around the Mormon and Catholic organizations which funneled massive buxx into the Yes on 8 campaign. Cue religious HELP HELP I’M BEING OPPRESSED whinging:

“When we saw them out there, we thought, ‘Why are they not over this? Do they think they’re going to change anything, or are they just stirring up trouble at our church?’ “

If someone knows how one is supposed to “get over” having your civil rights stripped away from you by religious bigots, please let me know.

In related news, the people that are blaming the passage of Prop 8 on African-Americans need to check their facts and shut the fuck up. Yes, 70% of black voters voted yes. Black voters make up about 10% of registered voters in the state. You know what other groups also voted yes — usually at higher rates than black voters, and none of them under 60% — most of which are larger groups than black voters?

  • Elderly voters
  • Republicans
  • Protestants
  • Catholics
  • People who regularly attend church of any kind
  • Married people
  • Parents of children
  • Gun owners

Prop 8 passed because of cynical exploitation of prejudice by out-of-state religious organizations pouring $$$ into an effort to impose their narrow version of Christian theocracy. You can’t fight bigotry with another kind of bigotry.

YES WE CAN

I would just like to personally say, to all the conservitard trolls who polluted my blog over the last few months (most of whose comments you, my gentle readers, never saw, because I didn’t approve them or replaced them with Hillary/Palin sub-dom slashfic), one thing:

nelson muntz schadenfreude

And now, to work! If I’ve realized anything in the years since I’ve started voting, it’s that you never get to stop fighting. There is never a point where you get to lay down arms, dust your hands off, and say “I’ve accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish; now to rest and enjoy the fruits of my labors.” And really, that’s a good thing. But I also think it’s a large part of what drives voter apathy, because it’s human nature to want to be able to stop at some point and feel like I’m done.

I’m dissapointed that a small majority of my fellow Californians saw fit to strip gays of their right to marriage. As Rachel Maddow pointed out last night, same-sex marriage has been a fait accompli in California for months now. This wasn’t something that was hypothetical; this was something that had existed and clearly was harming no one (in fact it was bringing massive buxx into the state’s tourism industry), and 52% of Californians took it away. That hurts.

But in light of last night’s overwhelming mandate, I can’t help but see this as a “lost the battle, winning the war” situation. The last time there was a similar proposition on California’s ballot, it won by a much wider margin. There will be a legal challenge — in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the papers are filed as soon as the Election Night hangovers wear off.

Same-sex marriage is inevitable, and the people railing against it now are like Velma and Franklin von Tussle, standing at the entrance to Tilted Acres in 1962 and desperately chanting “Segregation now! Segregation forever!” through gritted teeth. You hate them… but you also kind of pity them, too. I understand now why Christians say you must pray for your enemies (when they really mean it, instead of using it as code for “BURN IN HELL, SODOMITE!!!”). I’m an atheist and have no one to pray to, but I will hope that one day these people come to realize the ignorance and futility of their position.

I am pleased that Californians have once again seen through the use of “Won’t someone please think of the children?!” rhetoric as a thinly-veiled excuse to chip away at reproductive freedom (for the 3rd time in as many years), and failed to pass Proposition 4. The South Dakota abortion ban and Colorado “Eggs are people, too” initiative also failed. I’m going to go out and have a celebratory abortion this weekend!

JOKING.

good news for us filthy constitution-lovers

Even while I’ve been marinating in schadenfreude over Obama’s probable victory come November 4, I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that Proposition 8, the prop that would ammend California’s constitution to deny gay citizens of their full rights, seemed likely to pass.

See, California is not as liberal as everyone who doesn’t actually live here likes to pretend it is. You have Los Angeles and the Bay Area, which are islands of godless hedonism; then between them you have an ocean of ignorant redneck conservitards. You know, the kind of people who wouldn’t vote for Obama because “OMG HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN!!1!“. The state almost always goes to the Democrat in the presidential races, because that part of the state has a much lower population density; but if you hang out in San Joaquin or Butte counties, you aren’t going to run into a lot of latte-sippin’, Volvo-drivin’ women’s studies perfessors.

Looking at a red-blue breakdown of counties, it goes like this:

(The 10.3 is the percentage that Kerry won over Bush in 2004.)

Well, worry no more: Proposition 8 is now losing 52%-44%.

I don’t want to be premature, obviously we can’t just sit back on our butts and ride it out until election day; it’s important that everyone who believes that gays and lesbians deserve the full civil rights accorded to them by the Constitution continue to shout about it until election day. But this is good news.

What infuriates me the most about the Yes on 8 side is that they’re being funded almost entirely by out-of-state hate groups that want to impose their selective version of a Christian theocracy on California. Bay of Fundie has a really excellent entry on where the $$$ is coming from (hint: Not from secular and/or California-based organizations), and how all the commercials for Yes on 8 are a tissue of lies from beginning to end. (I’m also indebted to the site for the image above.)

I’m also impressed with this group: Mormons for Marriage, which is against Prop 8. Especially because the LDS church has been pouring tithes into the Yes on 8 coffers for months. It takes guts to take this kind of stand against your church. I bet these people are pretty sick of being told “I’ll pray for you” (where “I’ll pray for you” is code for “BURN IN HELL YOU SODOMITE!!1!”) from their fellow church members. I noticed their comments have been closed, I can only assume that’s the result of “concerned” comments from their fellow “Christians”.

In related news, Proposition 4, the “parental notification” abortion law, is narrowly holding on to a 2% lead; but there are still a lot of undecided voters, so all is not lost. We need to see a concentrated media blitz from the No on 4 groups, like we’ve been seeing from No on 8 recently. I mean, a lot of those undecideds have to be pro-choicers who aren’t sure that “notification” is necessarily a bad thing, they just need to be better informed (and shown that the whole “Sarah’s Law” jiggery-pokery is a huge load of manure.)

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