happy town: that gum you like is going to come back in style

I’ve been seeing previews for this for weeks but wasn’t interested, as it looks like another Twin Peaks rip-off, and will likely be as successful as every other Twin Peaks rip-off of the past 20 years (average # of eps before cancellation: 3.5). ABC is even flogging it as “from the network that brought you Twin Peaks“. Yeah, and then forced Lynch and Frost to reveal way too much way too soon and gave us that wretched abortion of a second season. Networks: Ruining quirky shows about quirky people in quirky towns for 20 years!

But there are a lot of people in it that I recognized — Sam Neill, Amy Acker, and that menacing Other M.C. “Give us the boooooy” Gainey — so I went ahead and DVR’d it last night.

It’s hard to judge a show by its pilot. It felt really forced and like there was just too! much! stuff! in it, but that’s usually par for the course. I hope Amy Acker gets something more interesting to do than be a fucking housewife, god. I mean I’ve seen her be a mad scientist who escaped from being sucked into another dimension where she was enslaved by terrible hellbeasts, before being possessed by some kind of primeval time-traveling socipathic goddess. With blue hair. Then in her next show she was a fembot/mad scientist surgeon. MOAR MAD SCIENCISM, is what I’m saying here.

The male lead is really borZZZzzzzz*snort* Sorry, I fell asleep for a minute there. But you know, I felt that way about Anna Torv for the first few eps of Fringe, and she really grew on me. That’s at least because Abrams and the wardrobe department dress her like a real fucking FBI agent, in dark suits and very little make-up and SENSIBLE FUCKING SHOES. I love Scully, but those 3 inch clunkers she used to run around in made me grind my teeth into dust.

The only character I really enjoyed right off the bat is Sam Neill’s. In fact, I was with the TWOP reviewer that said the show was “about as exciting as watching bread rise”, until I got to this part:

Why do they spend so much time trying to make me think that Sam Neill is sexy?

This is where you and I part ways, missy. I would sex his geriatric Kiwi ass six ways to Sunday. (Yes, Neill is not Australian, but is in fact from New Zealand. Little Known Fact!) Although his character seems kind of gay; but maybe that’s just because he’s playing him very Old Hollywood Sinister, which sadly usually came off as gay. Which tells you something about the high opinion which Old Hollywood held for its many hard-working hair and make-up guys.

Anyway, verdict: Not terribly impressed, but willing to give it a few more eps to see if they work the bugs out. Still, you, Josh Appelbaum, are no David Lynch. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR.

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life without movies is not worth living

Related to this post, here are the DVDs I elected to keep with me in Louisiana, putting the others I own in storage:

  • The 4th and 5th seasons of Northern Exposure. I have the first 3, but these 2 are the peak of the show, IMO. Although I know people who claimed the character of Mike Monroe was the shark-jump moment, I don’t agree with that. He was only a single-season character; Joel going native was clearly the shark jump.
  • Both seasons of Pushing Daisies. Sigh.
  • All 3 seasons of Dexter; the 4th season will no doubt eventually join it.
  • Lawrence of Arabia, tied with
  • The Fall, for Favorite Movie Ever.
  • Firefly & Serenity. Gorram it.
  • Aeon Flux. The complete animated series (including the Liquid Television shorts), not the terrible movie that was sort of based on it.
  • The 1st season of Fringe; ditto for the 2nd when it comes out.
  • The 1st season of True Blood, ditto as above.
  • Twin Peaks, the Definitive Gold Box Edition. It came with extras and postcards and an ad for David Lynch’s coffee, which I am scared to drink.
  • All the Harry Potter movies to date, except the first 2, when Dan Rad was too young for even a pervert like me to leer at.
  • All the Hayao Miyazake films I own: My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Howl’s Moving Castle. I haven’t even seen Ponyo, Y/N?
  • The most recent Star Trek movie. GEEK.