why does the GOP automatically think “sarah palin” when someone says “pig”?

Oh noes, it’s Lipstickonapiggate!

Cue conservative mouth-foaming in 3… 2… 1…

Before anyone in the Lower 48 knew who the fuck Sarah Palin was, “sexism” was derided by the GOP as just some crap that whiny bitches were always trying to hide behind because they couldn’t hack it.

But now that they have a chick on their team, it’s apparently suddenly become so ubiquitous and corrosive that just questioning Palin’s ability to do the job for which she is running means the questioner is sexist, and every single phrase that Obama utters in an attempt to be more folksy is a veiled reference to how he plans to implement Sharia law once he’s in office, or something.

I mean, lipstick on a pig? Ridiculous! Who ever heard of such an outlandish phrase? Besides Dick Cheney. And Fred Thompson and Tom Tancredo. And uh… John McCain.


shorter* bill kristol

Hey Sarah Palin, pull my finger!

Hey Sarah Palin, pull my finger!

Even though I spent the entire summer ranting that Obama’s youth and inexperience makes him the most unqualified Presidential candidate since Jan Brady ran for class president, none of that applies to Sarah Palin, because I think she’s pretty.

*Shorter concept stolen from Sadly, No!

the GOP is suddenly interested in feminism

Shoe’s on the other foot now isn’t it, ratfuckers?

Sarah Palin and the GOP can call her a “feminist” all they want, it doesn’t make her one. Simply being in possession of a vagina and running for high office doesn’t magically make you some kind of feminist superheroine. The conservative base will gladly elevate one woman if it means they can more easily and thoroughly keep the rest of us down, and that’s all that’s happening here with Palin’s nomination. Well, that and McCain thinking us Vagina-Americans are such excitable ninnies that we’ll jump at the chance to vote for anyone who happens to possess the same reproductive organs.

Sorry, McCain. My vagina believes in equal pay, evolution, comprehensive sex ed, civil rights for gays and lesbians, and a women’s right to make her own medical decisions. My vagina is voting for Obama.

Being anti-choice precludes being a feminist. Period. Full stop. The plain, unvarnished definition of “feminism” is  “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men”. If you don’t believe women should have as much autonomy over their own bodies as men do, you are not a feminist. “Feminists for Life” (to which Governor Palin belongs) is just the same old group of meddling harpies trying to appeal to the generation of women who grew up after The Feminine Mystique.

One of the most pukey anti-feminist attitudes Palin has displayed so far (I’m sure we’ll see many more between now and November) is her “Aww shucks, I didn’t really want to be a veep nom, I was just trying to be a better wife and mother and kind of fell ass-backwards into it!” Because having ambition and like, trying is icky and unladylike!

But let’s look at that “Trying to be a better mother” thing, shall we?

  • While mayor of Wasilla, AK, the high school dropout rate was sometimes as high as 40%, leading Johns Hopkins to declare the town a “dropout factory”.
  • While she supports her own pregnant teenaged daughter, she doesn’t give a damn about anyone else’s: She slashed funding for a program that assists teen mothers in Alaska. Someone who opposes sex ed and abortion ought to at least be prepared to deal with the consequences of that.
  • She tried to get books banned from the Wasilla Public Library. I haven’t found any credible sources that list any titles, I’d be very interested to see what they were. I mean, I very much doubt the WPL was stocking Double Donging Monthly in their periodicals section.

It’s been amusing to watch the right-wing blogosphere creaming their collective undies over Palin’s acceptance speech at the RNC last night. This may come as a huge shock to them; but reading a speech that someone else wrote off a teleprompter before a canned audience of people who unequivocally support you doesn’t translate to being able to hold your own before an unbiased audience. Biden is going to rip her apart in the veep debates. October 3rd, people!

Bonus: Wasilla is the “meth capital” of Alaska. Job well done making the town “a better place for my kids”, Mayor Palin!

veep candidacy vetting: ur doin it wrong, mccampaign

Did McCain pick Sarah Palin as his veep nom based on nothing more than a cursory glance at her MySpace page?

Palin was such a bucker of Alaska’s “good ol’ boy” system… that she ran Senator Ted “Series of Tubes” Stevens’ shady 527.

But at least she’s not as mind-bendingly corrupt as the average GOP politician, right?… oh, except for how she’s currently the subject of an ethics investigation.

But at least she was against the “Bridge to Nowhere”, right? …except for when she initially supported it, but then she realized it would be politically advantageous to be agin’ it.

Oh, and she also belonged to a party that called for Alaska to secede from the US. Okay, that is sidling up to the merely “Scary Conservative” line and threatening to cross over into “Pants-Shittingly Insane” territory.

And also, Knockedupteeenagedaughtergate. The privacy of candidates’ children is inviolable, except when it comes to talking about how ugly Chelsea Clinton was.

This is the best election EVER.

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