apparently william safire is one of the 17 billion famous people who have died thus far in 2009

William Safire was a lot of things, including a professional Grammar Nazi, and whatever you call someone who was a cheerleader for the Iraq War and claimed it would be over within weeks and insisted Hussein engineered 9/11 and that Iraq had WMDs. And who also never retracted any of those statements. A moron?

Anyway, he also wrote some fancy words for our Worst Quaker President Ever, Richard Nixon. And one of the weirder things about being a presidential speech writer is that you have to write speeches for all the different outcomes of national, historic events, some of which never get used. It’s like that old SNL skit where Dana Carvey is playing Tom Brokaw, and he’s going on vacation, so he has to pre-tape a bunch of wildly implausible announcements, including one in which Former President Gerald Ford has been eaten by wolves.

Here is one that has surfaced recently. He wrote it in 1969, in case the Apollo 11 astronauts got stranded on the moon:

Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.

That is terrible, Safire. Wherever you are now, you should be hanging your head in shame.

This will probably provide years of wingnut fodder to moon landing hoaxers. Hopefully it will also lead to lots more of them getting punched in the face by Buzz Aldrin.