Shorter Phil Robertson

“I love* gay people like Jesus said to.”

*”Love” here meaning “Really hate, but I don’t have the guts to deal with the fallout that being honest would cause”.

Good ol’ Phil must have read a different version of the Bible than I have, because in the one I read Jesus said fuck-all about homosexuality. It must be the same version all the wingnuts read, in which God condemns abortion and personally endorses the US of A.

Bonus derp: He claimed “no black people were singing the blues” before the Civil Rights era made them git all uppity. He did not add “Except for the black people who invented that very musical genre as a response to being second-class citizens”, so I see he knows music history as well as he knows the Bible.

I kind of hate myself for even addressing this, because everything that comes out of his mouth is such an obvious ploy to dig the ratings of his show out of the crater and/or move copies of his (to use Wonkette’s phrasing) book-shaped object. I can see that, but I can’t resist pointing out how stupid and wrong his words are. The only conservative bobblehead whose low-hanging fruit I absolutely refuse to pick (anymore) is Ann Coulter’s. Her only purpose in life is to get people ginned up, and she doesn’t care whether they’re for her or agin’ her. She’ll take whatever you got, so she gets nothing from me.

It’s been a bad year for Louisiana-set “reality” shows; apparently “Son of Guns” has been cancelled due to the host’s now-adult daughter claiming he molested her as a child. This is a show that flew so far under my radar that I didn’t know it existed until I read about its cancellation on the Bayou Progressive’s Facebook page. I avoid these shows because they traffic in grotesque stereotypes about Louisiana and appropriation/misrepresentation of Cajun culture.

I think we should call this one “Turducken Barbie”

Oh for Pete’s sake, she’s fleeing the interview!  SHE’S FLEEING THE INTERVIEW!

Oh for Pete’s sake, she’s fleeing the interview! SHE’S FLEEING THE INTERVIEW!

I am really glad I don’t live in Louisiana’s Sixth District, which includes Baton Rouge. The Congressional race is shaping up to be a real shitshow, even by Louisiana standards. It’s a clown car of teatard jackasses still butthurt over the passage of the ACA and concerned about Serious Threats to America like not being allowed to set gay people on fire; plus former governor Edwin Edwards, who did corrupt Louisiana politicians proud when he found a loophole in the whole “convicted felons can’t hold federal or state office” thing: it’s just a Congressional district, so it’s not a “state” office, see? It’s like going into a restaurant and being given a menu that only has “cockroach omelette” and “armadillo roadkill sandwich” on it.

So far the Republican candidate that seems to be hogging the spotlight the most is Lenar Whitney, a former tap dance instructor who is like an unholy cross between Sarah Palin and Orly Taitz. She kicked her run off with a video in which she calls climate change a “hoax”, claims the planet is actually getting colder, and then threw in some Birtherism, because why not, there’s still some milk left in those teats, right? (Spoiler alert, Lenar: no.) Oh, and she used the phrase “lamestream media”, which is always the mark of a Serious Thinker.

Her handlers showed some uncanny self-awareness last week when they accused Cook Political Report editor David Wasserman of “conducting a Palin-style interview”. Apparently this is conservative code for asking a politician about views and opinions that have come out of their facehole; and then having to end the interview when said politician locks up, starts blurting out word salad like HAL after he got his motherboard pulled, gets hustled out of the room by aides, then goes on Facebook hours later and whines about being “gotcha’d” because the interviewer couldn’t handle a Strong Conservative Woman. Yeah, Whitney is definitely reading from the Palin Handbook.


Lomographers of Acadiana: Fort Jackson

April’s meetup had to be re-scheduled because of Granny’s funeral, so it was last Saturday. I chose Fort Jackson in Plaquemines Parish, a decommissioned masonry fort from the 1820s. There are a lot of those south of New Orleans, but most of them are closed right now because of Hurricane Isaac. I didn’t find anything online that said Fort Jackson was closed, and in fact there was a Civil War re-enactment there just a couple of weeks ago, so that must mean it’s open, right?

PICT0996, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

*bangs head repeatedly on nearest hard horizontal surface*

FUCKING LOUISIANA, I SWEAR. Of the many, many things that are annoying about this state, top of my list right now is that our parks and historic sites are constantly getting shut down due to hurricanes. And since fixing them up isn’t a budget priority, they stay shut for months or sometimes even years–and then by the time they get them open again, oh hey look out, here comes ANOTHER FUCKING HURRICANE. Katrina shut all the forts down for so long that they were only open for about 18 months before Isaac came along and shut them all down again.

What’s frustrating is there were still lots of people there; even just the outside is pretty interesting, and it’s right on the river. If they opened it and charged a small fee, they would probably have enough money to fix it up by the end of the summer. Maybe I’ll write a letter to whoever is in charge of parks and rec for the state. I’m not going to bother with Jindal, because he’s a Rethug douchebag who doesn’t give a shit about this state outside of how he can use it as a springboard to higher office. Good luck with that, brah.

However, driving through Plaquemines Parish gave me an idea for another shoot. I kept seeing signs for a town called Pointe a la Hache, which I thought sounded interesting, so I Googled it when I got home. It’s the parish seat, but it’s very near where Katrina made landfall, so it got pretty wrecked and only about 200 residents have returned since the storm. So it’s got kind of a ghost town vibe, and there are a lot of ruined buildings. The courthouse was damaged by arson over a decade ago and has been left as is, there’s been a “temporary” courthouse in nearby Belle Chasse since. The parish council has tried 3 times to move the seat to Belle Chasse, but it always gets rejected. Louisianans: we love to pay lip service about how much we cherish our history, but we don’t want to actually spend any money on preserving it. *sigh*

PICT1003, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1011, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1008, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1010, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1002, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT0999, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1020, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

PICT1023, originally uploaded by pinstripe_bindi.

rape culture: saying “hey, maybe don’t rape people” leads to a flood of rape threats

Feminist confuses Faux News host by suggesting that we teach men not to rape. Of course, that host was Sean Hannity, who probably gets confused when he tries to figure out how the cream gets inside of a Twinkie.

His solution to rape is that women should be armed at all times. If that’s the best defense against rape, why is rape an “accepted job hazard” in the US military? That means that if you’re a woman and you join up, you’re basically told “Oh, bee tee dubs, you’re probably gonna get raped at some point. No suing!” That aside, this is what feminists are talking about when we talk about “rape culture”: that instead of telling women to constantly pack heat, or never drink in bars, or never walk after sunset except in packs of a dozen, or wear a burqa, or basically NEVER LEAVE THEIR HOUSE, we should instead be telling men “It’s not cool to rape women, regardless of the context”. The onus of rape shouldn’t be on what the victim was doing, or wearing, or drinking. It should be on the rapist.

If you are a man and you already know this, then congrats, you are a wonderful and enlightened person and “teach men not to rape” doesn’t apply to you. But you are still part of the problem if you refuse to accept that hundreds of thousands of men in this country alone don’t know those things, because we live in a rape culture that is not invested in teaching them. You are still part of the problem when you scoff at the phrase “rape culture” and pretend it’s a paranoid invention of hairy-legged man-hating feminists, instead of a thing that exists. You are still part of the problem when you pretend “teach men not to rape” translates to “all men are violent animals who would jump out of bushes and assault random female passers-by unless women smacked them with a rolled-up newspaper when they tried to do it”.

What “teach men not to rape” actually means is that we need to repeat, over and over and over again, until EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS WORLD ACTUALLY GETS IT, that skirt length does not determine the level of a woman’s culpability in her own assault. That having sex with a woman too drunk consent is in fact rape. That terms like “date rape” and “grey rape” and “acquaintance rape vs. stranger rape” are meaningless prevarications. That just because you didn’t knock a woman down and hold a knife to her throat, you could still be guilty of rape. It means a hundred different things, and none of those things is “all men would rape if they could get away with it”.

And I think most of the men making this accusation know it, on some level. Believe me, I get privilege. I’ve identified as white my entire life (recent revelations about my ancestry aside), and I’m familiar with the gut lurch that comes with being told that you are benefiting at someone else’s expense. You need to get over it and accept that people who belong to other genders or racial groups probably know what it’s like to be a member of that gender or racial group more than you do. You need to listen to their experiences and not dismiss them because they make you uncomfortable.

And the people scoffing that something so simple could never work: rape in Canada dropped 10% soon after that country began its “Don’t be that guy” ad campaign. Teaching men not to rape–fighting back against rape culture–does work. It’s the ONLY thing that’s been proven to work.

shorter* mark ziegler:

Because I support Sarah Palin, she has to do everything I suggest.

See, this is the creepy dark side of the Cult of Sarah Palin. Because all the people worshiping her are conservative douchenozzles, they still think that, as a woman, she isn’t really allowed to make her own decisions.

Granted, whatever insane thing they come up with probably won’t be any more unhinged than the decisions she makes on her own–such as quitting halfway through her first term as governor. Because publicly not being able to hack governing a sparsely-populated, resources-rich state is always a springboard towards leading the free world! But it’s the principle of the thing.

They say they love and support her, but they wind up acting like every other controlling stalker freak convinced that the object of their obsession is sending them coded messages through their choice of eyeglass frames.

*”Shorter” format stolen from Sadly, No!.
Link found at Pandagon.

awesome, this will be something to laugh about at this saturday’s atheists & freethinkers meet-up, in between plotting world domination

Sorry, Gay Americans! Those popper-fueled gloryhole orgies will have to wait a day or two. (Apparently Pat Robertson’s god isn’t all-powerful so much as sorta-powerful, at least for a day or two.) You know, the ones that conservitards seem so obsessed over and seem to think you squeeze in every afternoon between, say, taking your kids to the orthodontist or buying cupcakes.

Also: “controversy”, lolz. If I may paraphrase Inigo Montoya, I don’t think that word means what you think it means. It’s not “controversial”, or even vaguely surprising, when a withered old fart like Robertson goes on a show that exists to separate homophobes from their money and says something homophobic. It’s just business as usual.

I stumbled across this on tumblr, where the consensus seemed to be “So, this is from The Onion, right?” It appears to be real, if only because it’s impossible to satirize Pat Robertson and I don’t think The Onion would bother. What’s that rule about satire, that it fails when it’s indistinguishable from the thing it’s mocking? Robertson has been a walking, talking parody of the obnoxious American christian fundamentalist for years. I mean, nothing you could make up and ascribe to him could possibly be more insane than this actual quote:

Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

If anything surprises me, it’s that the younger conservatives put up with him making them look like assclowns. Whenever he says something like this I always expect, I don’t know, Ann Coulter or someone marginally less doltish than Robertson to pat him on the head and tell him that’s very nice paw-paw, but the grown-ups are trying to have a dialogue here, so eat up your strained peas and go take a nap. You know how getting riled up over buttsecks tuckers you out.

shorter* rush limbaugh: another round of twinkie-weiner sandwiches!

The bloated, sweaty red face of perfect health.

This whole “eat vegetables occasionally and get some exercise every once in a while” thing has been revealed as propaganda of Big Broccoli, in tandem with the Treadmill Industrial Complex, since Jack Lalalane has keeled over dead at the ripe young age of 96.

*”Shorter” concept stolen from Sadly, No!

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