PARTY AT MY HOUSE

Mom and Phil left this morning to spend a week in Louisville, Kentucky. Both of Phil’s sisters live there, and the older one (he’s the middle child) has leukemia, so this is probably the last time he’ll see her. I’m staying here to look for a job. Also, I don’t particularly like Phil’s older sister.* (I like his younger one. She took me to get my ears pierced when I was 13 because my mother had some weird bug up her ass about it, even though hers had been pierced before I was born.)

But before they left, we spent an hour at the Daylily Festival. It’s only one day, and my mother likes daylillies, apparently. Not sure when that started. And a lot of them died last winter, because it was real rainy, then real cold, and anything that grows from a bulb pretty much rotted away in the ground.

I’m glad we only went for an hour, because it is HUMID AS FUCK this weekend, even by southern Louisiana standards. It’s like living in a giant armpit. With mosquitoes.

But I’m also glad I went, because we found this awesome booth where this guy was selling bromeliads — those weird spiky plants that don’t need dirt or water — in shells. I was just going to get a single one for my nightstand, but Mom was like NO FUCK IT GET THAT HUGE ONE WITH THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF SHELLS I’LL PAY. You do not have to beg my mother to buy plants.

I had my Imperial Savoy camera with me, and the guy running the booth was like “That looks old!” He knew a little bit about cameras, so it was fun to talk with him while Mom ran amok behind us, because it’s rare to just randomly meet someone who knows about box cameras. He asked me if the photos looked odd, and I was like yeah, but that’s the point. I mean, anyone can take a perfect photo with a digital camera; or make it perfect with editing. Imperfection is more interesting.

*Trust me, she is not a likable person. Her husband was a physician who saved more than a million dollars by the time he semi-retired, then earned around $50,000 a year traveling to different Indian reservations** and providing care there. And after he died, it turned that between the two of them, they had managed to completely piss away all the money. And when Aunt Sharon — Phil’s younger sister — was like “But whaaaaaaaaaa? What about the locum tenens money??”, Aunt Helene said “Oh, that was just change.” $50,000 A YEAR, YOU GUYS. “CHANGE.”

**When Aunt Helene told Mom they were going to be on different reservations in the southwest, and Mom was like “Oooh, they have such pretty silver and turquoise jewelry there”, Aunt Helene said “I don’t wear that stuff. I only wear fine gold jewelry.” SHE ACTUALLY USED THAT PHRASE. I would have laughed in her face, but my mother is a nicer person than I am.

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