foot prettiness has become a higher priority since i moved south

I never used to pay much attention to my feet. They were just the things at the ends of my ankles that made me ambulatory. I discovered the embarassingly stereotypical love of shoes rather late in life, in my mid-30s. (But my shoes are all flats; I’d sooner bind my feet than wear high heels.)

I still didn’t pay much attention to how nice my feet looked under my shoes, though. Seemed kind of pointless, since I wore sandals maybe once a year. Except for the two weeks I spent here in Louisiana last August, I think the only time in the past 2 years that I wore them — not including drugstore-purchased flip flops donned only to take out the trash or retrieve the mail — was at my sister’s wedding. But then I moved down here permanently, and the weather started to get warm, and it occured to me that hey, I may not always be comfortable in socks and shoes.

So I embarked on a foot-prettifying campaign. My main weapon: the Tweezerman Callus Shaver & Rasp. Over the course of several nights, I removed what felt like a pound of dead, callused skin from my heel bottoms and balls of my feet.

Second prong of attack: Nail polish. Nothing radical, just a light pink. (Luckily I always kept my toenails neat, because raggedy corn chip nails gross me out.)

And today I delivered the coup de grace: Sandals. I have trouble finding sandals that fit properly. I guess I have a high arch, because often my feet won’t fit under the part that goes over your foot, even when the bottom is the exact right size. So no online shopping for me, sandals have to be tried on. The only options in town were Payless Shoe Source, who seem to go out of their way to stock only ugly, shoddy, uncomfortable footwear; and Stage, which had all three of Payless’s faults while also managing to be overpriced.

So I went to Target, like I probably should have to begin with, and got these sequiny thongs with a soft, corky wedge. I swear I saw the EXACT SAME SANDAL at Stage, only under a different brand name. Not only did they not fit me, they were about $30 more. I also got these strappy white sandals that are nothing out of the ordinary EXCEPT FOR THE SEAHORSE DETAIL WHAT

It’s weird, because I just bought a seahorse pin a couple weeks ago. Everything’s coming up seahorses.

OPERATION PRETTY FEET IS A GO, REPEAT WE ARE GO

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