lindsay lohan celebrated her birthday last weekend

And judging from a photo taken during the festivities, I’m judging her age around 47:

lindsay lohan bday 280609

And a pretty hard 47 at that. Like, "47-year-old cocktail waitress at seedy North Vegas lounge".

Wait, apparently she’s only 23? 2 pieces of advice, La Lohan:

  1. Sunscreen.
  2. Stop using the “Weary Old Whore” line of Wet N’ Wild. Or at least wear about a pound less than you are in this photo.

I shouldn’t be too hard on her. Everyone knows the camera adds 40 miles of bad road! (The camera does not do this.)

This requires a Mean Girls palate cleanser.

It’s also a good idea to watch this every time Lizzy Caplan shows her boobs in season one of True Blood. Or has a particularly graphic/disturbing sex scene. Or says something is “authentic”. Or does V. Or stakes Stephen Root. Particularly that last one.


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