this can no longer be ignored: letterman vs. palin

I’ve been trying to ignore the whole thing, but it won’t go away, because every time David Letterman says “You know what? Bad joke, my bad.”, Palin has to open her blowhole and spew a bunch of her ignorant verbal diarrhea all over the national stage. She’s a sneering attention whore who constantly uses her kids as human shields, because she’s just self-aware enough to know that a lot of people hate her stupid guts. Sometimes they’re literally shields, like when she dragged them out on the ice with her to drop the puck at the start of a hockey game, hoping she wouldn’t get boo’d (HA HA, you don’t know many hockey fans, do you?); then faux-lamented (fauxmented?) the poor taste of these toothless cretins, booing children.

The apotheosis of this fucktardery came yesterday, when she “accepted” Letterman’s formal apology and managed to work in a) the troops, b) her own uniquely short-bus “understanding” of the Constitution, and c) one more “Won’t someone please think of the children!” plea.

I love Wonkette, because they write the most bitterly caustic pieces about Palin without resorting to sexism, so I can still laugh at them.

Why does Sarah Palin treat her 14-year-old daughter, Willow, like a piece-of-shit Nerf shield? That’s the real story. Willow’s mother, Sarah Palin, thinks of her young, impressionable daughter as nothing more than a six-month-old McDonald’s bag, reeking of moldy onions, found under the car’s front seat when she’s desperately searching for something to vomit in after downing 20 Crown Royal & gingers, and meth, at eight in the morning.

Bonus lulz: These drooling morons picketing CBS and calling for Letterman’s firing. They’re all Leno fans, natch. Watch out for the spectacularly deranged woman screeching “DAVID LETTERMAN WILL RAPE YOUR CHILDREN WITH HIS MOUTH!!!” around 1:45.

In conclusion: We should carpet-bomb the entire state of Alaska, then sterilize any surviving Palins.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Julie
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 17:03:22

    Oh man, watching that was painful. WFT with the woman calling Letterman’s wife a slut? Jeebus. I think I need a shower or something.

  2. pinstripebindi
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 17:10:50

    The more I watch that, the more convinced I am that Noo Yawk Joo lady is some kind of RL troll. “Jewish”? I’m pretty sure that language is called “Yiddish”.

  3. Sadie
    Jun 18, 2009 @ 00:12:43

    “You know what ‘schmuck’ means in Jewish?”

    Are you fucking kidding me? Try Yiddish, failhag.

    And anyone who calls Jay Leno a “class act” instantly loses credibility in my book.

    Also: how fucking noble is it to protest the verbal mistreatment of a minor by firing back at David Letterman’s son?

    Jesus.

    On a less pissy note: The dude with the “I’M A RIGHT WING LUNATIC” sign is my new hero.

  4. pinstripebindi
    Jun 18, 2009 @ 09:23:25

    My heroes are the guys pretending to make out behind the crazy lady screeching about how Letterman is a verbal pedophile.

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