yo dawg, i heard you like iguanas: nic cage is bringing crazy back

We were all skeptical when we heard about Werner Herzog’s sort-of/not-really “remake” of the legendary flick Bad Lieutenant, starring Harvey Keitel’s weiner. Especially when the full title was revealed to be Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Is there like, some puncuation missing in that title? It doesn’t even make sense.

But earlier this week they released a trailer, and ohmygod. It looks so pants-shittingly crazy that if this turns out to be a hoax I won’t be surprised, but I will be disappointed. (And it’s clearly not for theatrical release, because there are F-bombs and hooker buns.) It’s like Sailor Ripley, after 20 years of drinking as heavily as Ben Sanderson, completely blew out his prefrontal cortex and decided to become a cop:

Jesus jumped-up Christ, where to even start? Iguanas on my coffee table! The bizarre accent that comes and goes*! You’re high on dope! Lucky crackpipe! I will stab you in the heart! Shoot him again, his soul’s still dancing!

Mind you, it still looks terrible. But it looks amusingly terrible; unlike Cage’s approximately 624 other scheduled 2009 releases, which just look regularly terrible. Also: Val Kilmer, for whom I have renewed respect after watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

However, I’m calling shenanigans if Cage doesn’t flash his peen. Or at least scream racial epithets and shoot his radio whilst sobbing hysterically.

*Seriously Hollywood, do some basic fucking research: Most New Orleans natives DO NOT have typical southern drawls. They sound like Noo Yawkers, because the city has the same linguistic contributors as NYC (Germans, Italians, Latinos and Hispanics, etc.).

p.s. I totes stole the first half of the title from Natasha at PSI, because it made me pee a little.

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