okay FINE, i’ll see the stupid star trek movie

Yeah, I know I said I didn’t give a shit, and I’ve been sort of aggressively not caring during the crazed nerdfrenzy that’s led up to the release. But everyone I know has seen it (many of them twice), and said it’s good. The only bad review I’ve read, Dan Hopper’s for Best Week Ever — essentially just a list of everything stupidly wrong with the movie (In the 23rd century, rebellious kids will be driving around in antique automobiles blasting Beastie Boys songs. Kind of like how angry kids in 2009 ride horses around blasting Bach concertos.) — actually kind of clinched my desire to see it.

And I have to admit: Zachary Quinto makes a pretty adorable Baby Spock.

Really? Only every 7 years?? *sigh*

Really? Only every 7 years?? *sigh*

Apparently, his fingers had to be glued together because he couldn’t make the “Live long, and prosper” gesture. I can’t either! My little finger always wanders off. I think it’s genetic, like how some people can’t curl their tongue. (I can do that, though.)

It took my brother (who recently started Netflixing the first season of Heroes — ssh! No one tell him how much it sucks now!!) to point this out, but Zachary Quinto looks eerily like the son of an old friend of our mother’s. He was an ADD-raddled spaz who used to throw cutlery in the garbage disposal, but Mom says he’s settled down nicely as an adult. And before you start pestering me for his phone number: He’s married. Sorry, ladies!

Also, this:

chris pine kirk finger guns

OKAY NERDS, I AM CONVINCED.

Speaking of cheesy movies, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three is finally off “very long wait” and should be arriving at my house today. Bring on the 1970’s NYC stereotypes!:

  • Apathetic Jewish mayor.
  • Jive-talking black dude.
  • Fat, lazy, mustachio’d cops.

Actually, that last one is still relevant.

I added it to my queue when I heard there was a re-make in the works, which I have no doubt is going to suck big sweaty ballz. For one thing, Ridley’s younger, more retarded, short attention span’d brother Tony is directing it. So expect lots of cars blowing up in slo-mo and action scenes that look like they were edited by coked-up monkeys. And I wouldn’t expect the original ending, which is one of the greatest, most understated and funny endings to any action movie, EVER.

For another, John Travolta is playing the villain. *incredulous laughter* The role that was played by Robert Shaw in the original. Robert Shaw > John Travolta, like it even needs to be said. Can you imagine Revolta giving the USS Indianapolis monologue from Jaws?

And the Walter Mathau part is being played by Denzel Washington. Look, I got nothing against Denzel. He’s a damn fine actor, and easy on the eyes to boot. But is there no more room in Hollywood for the goofy-looking lead? Other than people like Jack Black, who are allowed to play the lead in screwball comedies that require lots of mugging. But you’d never see someone like Mathau playing the lead in an action movie these days. That makes me sad.

Advertisements

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Rian G.
    May 14, 2009 @ 00:16:48

    Cracking up at the ‘Revolta’ name!!! That remake will be major suckage.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: