what i’ve been reading & watching: with nails and sweeney todd

with-nails With Nails: The Film Diaries of Richard E. Grant

I love Richard E. Grant; LA Story and Henry & June are two of my favorite movies, so this has been on my list for a while. The chapter on Hudson Hawk alone is worth the price of the book; it’s not often you get an as-it’s-happening inside look at one of the biggest Hollywood bombs of all time. Apparently, this movie was a dream of Bruce Willis’ since his bartending/struggling actor days. As I recall, recording an album was also one of his “dreams”. Someone needs to take him aside and tell him to stop having dreams.

Funniest anecdote: David Caruso had a small part in the movie, playing one of Grant’s and Sandra Bernhard’s (who is exactly how you imagine her to be IRL) characters’ flunkies. The character has no tongue, so the method-acting Caruso (Seriously: Method acting? For this piece of shit??) never spoke to anyone… until his last day of filming, when he cornered Grant in make-up and demanded to know why Grant had been “ignoring” him. Caruso, a deranged moron? Say it isn’t so!

For the most part, Grant refrains from being too acidic. Understandable: Grant isn’t retired and presumably still wants to get work. When he really wanted to unload, he mentioned no names; although if you’ve seen the movies in question, you can make an educated guess. (This book was published after Caruso’s post-NYPD Blue career had flopped and before he made his “comeback” on CSI: Asinine, so Grant probably felt okay ripping on him.) Maybe we’ll have to wait for his death to get the full-on You’ll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again treatment. Much like the diarist whose husband he once portrayed!

Also, this book has inspired me to add Warlock to my Netflix queue, which I remember as being a campy good time and actually better than you’d expect it to be. (Although the climactic scene was a blatant rip-off of the “Try holy water, deathbreath!” line from Lost Boys.)


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

If I may quote Raineesha Williams here: White people are crazy. Mind you, I’m not saying I didn’t like it. Quite the opposite! And it’s amazing how Johnny Depp manages to still be hot with white pancake, racoon eyes, and yellow teeth. Not to mention all the throat-slashing.

It also sort of put me in the mood to make meat pies. Although hopefully not from people.

Sweeney Todd + Soylent Green = Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies are made of peeeee-puuulll!

I know I already mentioned The Fall. I just want to mention it again, because seriously DROP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO ADD IT TO YOUR NETFLIX QUEUE RIGHT NOW.


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