counterpoint!: meghan mccain is a vapid, simpering barbie

meghan-mccainYou guys, what is it about the McCains that makes so many liberals bend over and grab their ankles for them? A few years ago it was her father, but that wore off right around the time he decided to get serious about running for President. That necessitated he stop pretending to care that people who aren’t rich, white and male live in this country too, and start kissing some right-wing booty. And thus did the liberal’s love affair with him fizzle.

In the wake of the election, they’re now falling all over themselves to gush over Meghan McCain. I, on the other hand, see nothing to exclaim over in a girl who buried her own ideals so her Repuke parents wouldn’t cut her off, and who now makes the talk show rounds regurgitating her father’s talking points on the economic stimulus package. But when Rachel Maddow asked her a fairly simple question, Meghan’s response was to stick her finger in her mouth and titter that she didn’t take Econ 101 in college. So umm, please explain to me why the fuck we should care what you have to say?

Oh, but she’s so bwaaave for talking shit about Ann Coulter! Bitch, please. The only thing more played out than calling John McCain a “maverick” is dissing Ann Coulter. That shit is sooo 2004, and it’s about as brave as telling the awful truth about Santa Claus to a class of high school seniors. Anyway, Ann’s latest book is tanking; this little fauxtroversy is probably a windfall for her.

Unverifiable theory!: People like Meghan because she’s a cute blonde with a big rack. Poor Chelsea Clinton, no one gives a fuck because when we look at her, we still see the portrait of her White House years, all teeth and frizzy hair. (And I don’t say that to be cruel; I was as equally-if-not-moreso hideous when I was 13, as were the vast majority of teenage girls.) However, Chelsea fucked off back to whatever it is that rich young hedge fund managers do the red-hot second her mom was no longer a viable candidate, so probably she doesn’t need my pity.

And if Meghan McCain genuinely wants to reform the GOP from inside, all I can say to that is: Good luck with aaaaall that. We’re talking about a bunch of sweaty old white men who tanked your dad’s 2000 White House run by gossiping to all the southern states that he had an illegitimate black baby.

And that was almost a decade ago! They’re exponentially more clown-like and awful now. Now they’re tearing apart their actual leader for having the gall to admit that abortion is legal — not that it’s right, just that it is currently a legal medical decision women can make for themselves. And in the meantime, they’re nominally headed by a Viagra-gobbling sex tourist gasbag pillhead (Must. Not. Make. Cindy. McCain. Joke!).

So umm, have fun with your new BFFs, Meghan. Just don’t get too used to their company, because if the GOP continues this spiral down into laughable irrelevancy, 2008 was probably their last politically viable election.

Of course, there’s always a third possibility: That weaseling out of whatever beliefs you may hold in order to gain power is a McCain family trait. Meghan may just be a sharp strategist who’s angling for a big, sweet slice of the wingnut welfare pie. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t make all those appearances on Faux News for nothing more than blog traffic.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cj frederick
    Mar 29, 2009 @ 18:56:24

    I watched you on larry king the other day and i have to commend your maturity and your answers and i also say your a very attractive young woman and you have a fantastic shape , shame to all those who think your fat, you go girl

  2. pinstripebindi
    Mar 30, 2009 @ 09:00:55

    Are you a complete idiot? Did you read this post? Did you even read the TITLE? Meghan McCain didn’t write this. Do you really think she would a) talk about herself in the 3rd person, and b) talk so much shit about herself??

  3. Myles
    May 12, 2009 @ 04:53:24

    Your comment is disgusting and I’m not going to approve it.

    Like she’d even give you the time of day, anyway.

    -ed.

  4. jack cough
    May 27, 2009 @ 23:16:19

    They say that soup is healthier for you, but I’ll have to let the experts debate that while gorging myself on cheese. Anyway, Megan McCain is a total flirt. My two cents.

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