and they said it wouldn’t last! …oh, right.

levi20johnston20bristol20palin20tattoo1According to gossip, the Palin-Johnston nuptials have been pushed back to “when Hitler and Judas form a pairs figure-skating team”. And that’s from no less an authority than Levi Johnston’s sister’s MySpace page. Her name is Mercede. So close! Just add one letter and it would be a real name!

Surprisingly, it’s not because Todd Palin has run out of shotgun shells! Apparently there has been a huge split between the two families for some time, according to this post from back in January:

“Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash’!”

Wait, the Wasilla hillbillies are actually calling someone else “white trash”? Silly Palins! I know standards are different in Alaska, but you’re all human garbage by Lower 48 standards! Your lack of intelligence and class more than makes up for your abundance of money and teeth.

Consarn it! If a high school drop-out and a teenage mother living in the meth capital of a state filled with neo-secessionists can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have?

Silver lining: Maybe John McCain will stop trash-tweeting tattoo removal earmarks!


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