I’m sorta kidding with the title, but I’m mostly not.
Look, I just don’t get this stupid attitude women have with pooping in public restrooms; the desire to hide it when we’re the ones doing it and the need to shame others for doing it. I mean, it’s a fucking toilet stall, we all know why we’re in it. Maybe some women are in there doing dainty, ladylike things like painting their toenails, but somehow I doubt it.
It’s just another way that women are expected to be both less and more than human. Like, we aren’t supposed to have hair anywhere on our bodies — even though that is a defining characteristic of being human, unless you have that Midnight Oil guy hairless disorder. But yet, we’re also not supposed to let husbands/boyfriends/random men on the street see us removing the hair or hear us talk about it. Thus turning us into actual human beings and spoiling the illusion required of the patriarchy that we are perfect, inhuman objects. (And patriarchy != every male on the planet, so save me the aggrieved comments about how you or your husband/boyfriend/random guy you know isn’t like that; therefore there is no such thing as the patriarchy.)
We’re also not supposed to sweat, burp, fart, be overweight (but we are supposed to have huge tits!) or occasionally slop around in sweatpants with unwashed hair. What do you suppose the reaction would be if it was suggested that men not ever do any of the above? (Well, except for the huge tits part.) Put another way: Do you think that ever, in the history of public restrooms, any man has ever A) felt ashamed of pooping, or B) felt the need to shame another man for pooping?
I’m not suggesting we all, men and women, run around belching and farting whenever the urge arises. Lard knows I could already do with less of other people’s gas in my life. I’m saying that in a perfectly logical context like being in a toilet stall, the act of pooping is not one that anyone should be made to feel ashamed of.
To any woman that would glare at me for the crime of pooping in a fucking bathroom like the woman in the Ragetoon above, I say: If you have a problem with me pooping, do us both a favor and stay out of public restrooms. You obviously don’t even need to be in there since, as the magical faerie-like creature you must be, you just poot talcum powder in lieu of anything crude like moving your bowels.