the 29 most anticipated movies of 2009


via ONTD

Movies I am looking forward to:

  • Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea. I was unaware Hayao Miyazaki had anything new coming out; I thought he was retired.
  • Coraline. Stop-motion animation is a dying art form. We should make people who do it Living National Treasures, like samurai swordsmen in Japan.
  • Sherlock Holmes. Does RDJ seem like an odd casting choice to play the famous detective? Maybe. Do I give a rat’s ass? I do not. I would pay $$$ to watch RDJ read the phone book.
  • Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince. Shut up. Dan Radz is legal now, I can think whatever I want.

Movies that have potential to not suck:

  • A Serious Man. It’s the Coen Brothers, so.
  • Terminator: Salvation. If nothing else, it’ll be good Christian Bale porn.
  • The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Terry Gilliam is very hit-or-miss for me. And it’s Heath Ledger’s last role. Sadface.
  • The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Wes Anderson directing a stop-motion version of Roald Dahl’s classic.
  • The Road. Probably going to be technically good, but horrifically depressing.
  • Where The Wild Things Are. A good idea on paper; but I loathe Spike Jonze, and this movie has had more “production problems” than Bruce Lee’s last movie.

Movies I could not give a shit about if you paid me $1 million to see them:

  • Whatever Works. People are really still giving Woody Allen work?
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Even the prospect of Liev Schrieber and Huge Jackman wearing fluffy muttonchops and duking it out doesn’t make me want to see this.
  • Funny People. Adam Sandler? NOT. INTERESTED.
  • Star Trek. Look, I know it’s JJ Abrams and fuckin’ Sylar is playing Spock and blah blah blah nerdcakes. I don’t care.

Is it just me, or is Matt Damon in nearly all of these? It’s like Jude Law in 2004, except you don’t think “Ewww, he fucked Sienna Miller” when you look at him.


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