and another piece of my childhood gets ass-raped

Well, there’s just no way this isn’t going to suck: Robotech, the first ever object of obsession that I can remember having, is going to be made into a live-action movie.

Now, I am not an anime geek. With the exception of Robotech and Hayao Miyazaki’s films (which I don’t even consider anime, so much as excellent films that just happen to be animated and Japanese), you could blast it all off the face of the earth, and I wouldn’t miss it. But for all its soap-opera romantic subplots, Robotech had some pretty ahead-of-its-time stuff. Interacial relationships (not to mention interspecies relationships)! The struggle of being a pacifist in a violent world! The moral quandary of being seduced by a culture you were sent to spy on and sabotage! Plus, people fucking died! In a kid’s cartoon! In the last episode, pretty much everyone died.

Even if the concept of a live-action Robotech didn’t sound awful just on the face of it, who’s in charge of this turd? Well, exec producing there’s Tobey Maguire, the man who turned Spiderman into a whiny emo jerkbag. And writing it are a couple of hacks who churn out crap like Herbie: Fully Loaded and that last mummy movie, The Curse of Brendan Fraser’s Hairplugs or whatever the hell it was called.

Adding insult to injury, originally Lawrence Kasdan, aka The Guy Who Wrote The First Fucking Indiana Jones Movie, was originally on board to pen the screenplay; but Maguire jettisoned him when he took over the helm. God, FUCK YOU, SPIDEY.

Whatever, let’s just watch this clip from the first epsisode and hope this abomination never sees the light of day. The concept’s been in pre-production limbo practically since I was in high school, so it’s entirely possible.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nov 20, 2008 @ 22:15:48

    Agreed, live-action Robotech is going to seriously blow. But I don’t think any feature-length adaptation could do it justice. There are too many great storylines that made the show so appealing, that would get flushed down the crapper. The whole crazy cat-and-mouse, “I can’t kill you so I love you” courtship between Max and Miriya…Breetai’s gradual disillusionment with his Zentraedi masters…psychotic Lord Khyron…man, I am so geeking out right now.

    My favorite part of that first Robotech chapter was after the war was over, with a devastated Earth and people trying to pick up the pieces. Watching that as a kid, I don’t think I had ever seen a cartoon with that precise tone of melancholy. Watching Lynn Minmei grow up, lose her childish innocence. Rick and Lisa’s tormented romance finally coming to a head. Crap, I’m geeking out again.

    And yeah, I know Robotech was a bastardized stitch job of blah blah blah, but for a kid whose experience with animated series was pretty much limited to Saturday morning cartoons, this was some sophisticated, heavy stuff. Robotech was my first exposure to anything like mature animated storytelling.

    I agree, any feature-length film would be bound to focus on the Rick-Minmei-Lisa triangle and ignore everything else. And as much as liked that storyline, Christ, sometimes it grated.

  2. patrick
    Nov 21, 2008 @ 10:13:52

    No, tell us how you feel!!!

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