the sound of a thousand training bras snapping: tween violence over twilight just made me buy online tix

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If you were worried that the frenzied fanjinks of crazed Twilight fans (known as Twatlighters to the discerning few) were going to die off after they all returned their copies of Breaking Dawn, fear not! The first movie in the series is coming out in a few weeks, and it’s causing unprecedented levels of tween insanity.

It reached a crescendo this week during the San Francisco stop of the press junket, when about 3,000 girls overwhelmed a Hot Topic (God, where else?) signing that had expected, max, 500 people. One girl got her nose broken, another fainted, and the police did everything but turn the firehoses on them.

Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward Cullen, the ridiculously perfect vampire hero of the series, also played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and is therefore no stranger to fandoms that can get, for lack of a ruder descriptive, “intense”. And even he seems a little taken aback by the reactions:

“I don’t do anything but go to screaming sessions anymore,” Pattinson said. “I don’t know what my actual life is now.”

Or, as a commenter on ONTD wryly put it: “Harry Potter had cute kids going up to drunks and shouting ‘Expelliarmus!’. Twilight has broken noses.”

Pattinson’s also described the collective screaming of fangirls as something you’d expect to hear “at the gates of hell”, said reading the books made him uncomfortable because it was like reading Stephanie Meyer’s sexual fantasies, and has had to deal with such madness as 7-year-old girls asking him to bite her. Christ on a pogo stick, no wonder he looks baked all the time. This shit has got to rattle the nerves.

I’ll admit it, the weirdness of Twilight mania combined with RPattz’s obvious scorn for the role is kind of making me want to fill a flask with limoncello and vodka and go see it opening weekend. Who will brave the squealing hordes with me?!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. misskate
    Nov 13, 2008 @ 03:15:29

    So that’s why he looks familiar!! I knew I recognized him from somewhere, but was too apathetic (can you be “too apathetic”?) towards the film to bother clicking through imdb. Poor guy. But really, he didn’t check into the books before he signed on? I would put the series as nearing phenomenon status.
    I must say that I haven’t bothered to read any of the books. There’s been enough discussion on childlit to turn me off of ever picking them up.
    Hope you can find a taker for your limoncello/vodka fueled screening. That’s a review I would look forward to!

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