joaquin phoenix retiring from acting to be in a rock band

Yeah, actors have had a lot of success making that transition. Just ask Keanu Reeves. Who could forget the triumphant 1999 North American tour of Dogstar? Oh, that’s right: EVERYONE.

My opinion of this idea?

Y’all know I love him with a fanaticism that borders on a full-blown obsession complete with stalking, but seriously. Joaquin Phoenix always comes across as a humorless and not-overly-bright douchebag. If I were ever to meet him, I’d probably gently lay my fingers on his lips and say “Shhh… don’t talk.”

I’m less upset about his impending “retirement” than I am over the fear that we’re going to lose another Phoenix sibling to a drug overdose, because he’s clearly tripping his balls off in that video.

Anyway, I’ll always have my DVDs of Quills, Buffalo Soldiers (an awesome movie that almost no one besides me saw), and Gladiator. Yeah, he played a crazy asshole who murdered his father and wanted to fuck his sister, but he was hot.

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