goodbye, zima! (buy stock in bartles & james)

This crap was unironically referred to as "malternative"

This crap was unironically referred to as "malternative"

Nooooo!

I didn’t drink in high school, in spite of being a goth and therefore “rebellious”. Probably because my best friends were all Mormon.

But they started manufacturing this swill the year after I graduated and started hanging out with people who weren’t as shiny-happy, and therefore it figured heavily in most of my adventures in underaged drinking, along with that pre-mixed Jack Daniels’ Lynchburg Lemonade.

(I didn’t enter my Boone’s Farm phase until after I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, a few years later. Between the 2 I had a brief flirtation with malt liquor and Mad Dog. Eventually I thankfully entered my current phase of alcohol consumption: “Booze that costs more than $1.99 and doesn’t taste like Kool-Aid spiked with gasoline”.)

I have a vivid memory of puking at a gas station after drinking Zima and eating a package of Red Vines, and experiencing a nightmarish moment of thinking I was vomiting up my own dissolved intestines. Good times, noodle salad.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Best webBlogs reView » goodbye, zima! now drunken bimbos will have to rely soley on bartles & james
  2. Jennifer
    Oct 21, 2008 @ 17:39:56

    I tried and tried to like the stuff – beer makes me ill, and liquor usually had me doing something humiliating sans part of my clothing – but it was wretched.

  3. misskate
    Oct 22, 2008 @ 00:22:00

    I remember when the candy (euphemism for liquor) store near my college (dry campus, dry town) started carrying this. It was never my favorite, I was and always will be a rum and SoCo girl (not in the same beverage), but I could drink it in a pinch. I did prefer it to Mike’s Hard Lemonade, I feel like there was something else we used to drink around the same time, but I can’t remember.
    Now if I have to do pre-bottled, it’s the Bacardi Breezers but only the cranberry flavor, all the others are way too sweet.

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