shorter* sarah palin, debate version

I was told there would be talent and ball gown sections to this thing

I was told there would be talent and ball gown competitions to this thing

MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK

Looks like the GOP’s pre-debate fluffing did its job: Biden clearly won, but everyone’s saying Palin “held her own” because she didn’t freeze up like Cindy Brady being asked the capital of Louisiana.

I mean sure, she answered every single question with a bunch of vague generalities and grating platitudes (I lose a little more of my will to live every time she says “hockey moms”); her “folksy” façade seemed even faker than usual (and seemed to border on nasty a couple of times — WTF was up with that?); and some of the things she said were downright bizarre (“I’m not going to answer the questions! When I’m veep I will demand more power!”). 

But she didn’t literally shit her pants, so let’s give the girl a thumbs-up! Plus Pat Buchanan says she won because she’s pretty.

I’m not 100% pleased with Biden, though. He avoided the verbal diarrhea and answered questions well, but I think he went a little too easy on Palin. Whether it was because he didn’t want to be perceived as beating up on a woman, or because he genuinely pities someone who’s dumber than a sack of doorknobs, I don’t know. But there were a couple of times when she was just begging for a stinging verbal smack, especially when she said Obama’s plan for Iraq “waved a white flag of surrender”. He’s got a son headed there too, you fucking cow. He’s got just as much invested in Iraq as you do, and he wants something a little more solid than “John McCain knows how to win a war! But it’s a secret, so you’ll just have to trust us.”

Also, Joe: Ease up a little on the self-tanner. You looked kind of orange.

*”Shorter” concept stolen from Sadly, No!

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