it’s a uterus, not a clown car

Oh look, OfJimBob Duggar has her 18th bun in the oven.
I bet they give up on coming up with cutesy names that start with J (all the kids’ names start with J, in fealty to their patriarch, JimBob) and just call it “J’18”.

The news that this circus freak family is cranking out another one is usually met by eye-rolling; but somehow in the week where the economy virtually imploded, it’s even more angry-making than usual. The Duggars like to crow about how they’re not in any debt; but that’s only because their entire lives, including their ginormous family compound, is subsidized by basic cable. If it weren’t for TLC and Discovery, the entire clan would be out on the highway wearing “Will Tell You Why You’re Hellbound For Food” signs. When I think of the resources these idiots suck up (not to mention the literal mountains of diapers this family has produced), just so Michelle can indulge whatever mental illness compells her to turn herself into a human brood sow and JimBob can reassure himself that his dick hasn’t stopped working, I want to send them all to the Arctic to provide slow-moving meals for polar bears.

My friend Emma is praying for menopause, but I believe that will barely put a dent in their formation of a pasty white “Christian” army. No, my guess is that when it hits Michelle, JimBob will get a “revelation” from Gawd re: Christian polygamy, take a fertile barely-legal handmaiden, and continue crankin ’em out.

The only possible solution is to dip JimBob’s testicles in liquid nitrogen, then shatter them.

ETA: Defendants of the christian clown car vagina lifestyle who attempt to comment here will have their comments either: a) approved and soundly mocked, or b) unapproved and ignored, depending on my whim.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jacob1207
    Sep 30, 2008 @ 22:53:22

    Go sing Kumbaya somewhere else, asshole. And if you have a problem with what I write in MY blog, I’m pretty sure no one’s forcing you to read it.

    And you obviously know fuck-all about the Quiverfull movement. I won’t link to their horrifying website, but you can Google it, should you actually feel like enlightening yourself.

  2. misskate
    Oct 01, 2008 @ 12:51:44

    I don’t understand Jacob’s comment.

    I think I couldn’t possibly imagine you singing Kumbaya.

  3. pinstripebindi
    Oct 01, 2008 @ 12:54:35

    @ misskate

    That’s because his actual comment – which was just a butthurt rant that boiled down to “They aren’t hurting you shut up you big mean poopiehead” – was deleted so I could replace it with my own commentary. (Which is why it’s italicized.)

    Petty? Maybe. My blog, my rules.

  4. jacob1207
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 18:30:33

    I’d prefer not to google the quiverfull movement because (1) I’m familiar with their ideology and (2) I’ve already encountered enough nonsense for one day. Their theology is totally bankrupt and without any redeeming quality. Happily, their belief system has no appeal to the rest of society and, like all movements based in religious fundamentalism, is likely to be a short-term phenomenon, relatively speaking.

  5. Jamie
    Oct 13, 2008 @ 20:22:46

    The government should enlist the mom in the army to breed a army for the U.S. Menopause can not come quick enough for that freak family!

  6. Ang
    Oct 26, 2008 @ 20:11:21

    Too bad you weren’t raised by the Duggars…maybe you’d be a loving respectful human being instead of a foul mouthed, dim minded jerk.
    I’m Just sayin….
    But Hey – your blog rocks right lol

    If I was raised by the Duggars I’d probably be working on my dozenth rugrat, and even if my husband allowed me that much access to the outside world, I’d doubt I’d have time to blog. Then again, then I wouldn’t have to deal with mouth-breathing troglodytes like you, so I guess there’s a silver lining to the Quiverfull movement! -ed.

  7. Ryan Thompson
    Jun 21, 2009 @ 20:33:52

    The Duggars don’t allow the children to dance, and the bathing suits they wear are that weird type from the 1890s. You know the ones.

    Ang, get a fucking life.

  8. Adam
    Jun 26, 2009 @ 08:26:14

    They were debt free long before TLC. It’s called “acting your wage.” 🙂

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