men in tights. like, for real.

This is either an extremely elaborate joke, or there really is a movement to “to accelerate the acceptance of male pantyhose as a regular clothing item.”


I read about this at Jezebel, and a lot of the commenting was along the lines of “Why promote something we’re trying so hard to get rid of?” Whoa, whoa! Look, pantyhose (*shudder* I don’t even like writing/saying the word) are horrible, cheap, itchy, supermarket-purchased, tan-colored nylon abominations. Tights, however, have a high cotton content, are breathable and durable, come in a variety of colors, weaves, and patterns, and have been a valued member of my wardrobe since high school. In short: You’ll get rid of them when you peel them off my cold, dead legs.

I don’t really understand the logistics of men wearing tights/pantyhose. Until men wearing skirts and dresses becomes socially acceptable, there’s really no point. They aren’t really warm, so if you’re somewhere cold, long underwear is much more practical under pants or jeans.

But I’m all for personal choice, so if there really is a significant minority of men yearning to wear them, they have my blessing. I just hope they know what they’re getting into: Occasional swampcrotch, nylon burns, and in their case (unless they also shave) pulled leg hair. Not to mention low sperm count.

Might I suggest stockings and garters? Keeps your swimmers cool and agile, and highlights your package!


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