“her mouth was on my dad’s penis!”

Here’s a Salon article about 2 residents of a nursing home who found love — and that meant physically, too — in their twilight years. Everyone thought it was cute at first, because they assumed it was just hand-holding, until the man’s son walked in on his father receiving a beej from the woman, flipped the fuck out, and moved his father to a different home. The woman became so depressed that doctors were afraid she would die.

The son cloaked his tight-assed hissyfit in concern-troll language about consent, because they both had dementia (the woman from Alzheimer’s, the man from, well, being 95), but make no mistake: This is purely an “Ewww, old people having sex!!1!” reaction, and no matter how many times I hear it, it never fails to make me furious.

You know, the elderly are still human beings, with the same needs and desires as the rest of us. As comfortable as it makes you feel to think of them as de-sexed dolls, you don’t actually have to turn in your genitals and your sex drive when you hit some arbitrary 60+ age. Believe it or not, you’ll probably be grateful for this if you live to be that old.

A while back there was a study about the sex lives of the elderly making the blog rounds. Predictably, the majority of commentary upon being forced to think of old people and their withered genitals was along the lines of “*throws up in mouth*” and other equally scinitillating and insightful remarks.

When I called a blogger out for being ageist I was told, no lie: “I’m not ageist! I just don’t like to think of anyone besides me having sex, and neither does anyone else making these kinds of remarks!” So, apparently the entire porn industry is soley supported by a few billionare deviants with a lot of free time; and most normal people would be making the same condescending remarks about a study of, say, the sex lives of barely-legal bisexual Swedish nude beach volleyball players. Give me a fucking break.

I hope that man’s son lives to be 100, and never has anything besides his own hand to keep him company.

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