make them start hating their bodies before they’re even old enough to walk

Well, this is revolting: high heels for infants. They’re not meant to be worn, of course. They’re a “joke” item.

But they disgust me anyway. I hate high heels to begin with:  They’re a tool of the patriarchy, meant to limit women’s freedom of movement and make our bodies more appealing to the male sexual gaze. You might as well bind your feet as to wear any heel higher than a couple of inches.

Plus, you know there are people stupid and/or trashy enough to actually put these on their babies. Probably the same people who punch bloody holes in their earlobes before they’re old enough to indicate their desire for such. (And I’ve heard all the arguments about how that can be a “cultural” thing. I’m not a cultural relativist, so you can shut it.) What’s next, fake fingernails for babies? Falsies??

But even if no one is ever actually dumb enough to put these on their babies, or if they never cause a baby who had a pair to grow up into a girl who wants to wear high heels before her bones have even hardened, does the world really need another tacky plastic gewgaw that fills absolutely no purpose, and will eventually spend centuries mouldering in a landfill?

Simplify, people! Useless crap will be the downfall of civilization!

Update: I guess the woman who invented this ridiculous bullshit was recently on a talk show, and apparently they are meant to be worn, which makes my brain hurt. I’ve seen them discussed on other sites, and a very valid point has been raised: If a baby attempts to take her first steps while wearing these, she’s very likely to break an ankle. Hello, lawsuit!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MyBabyWearsHeels
    Oct 27, 2008 @ 06:06:50

    I think these heels are very cute! I wear heels and I think its really cute when me and 5 month old steps out the house in matching heels. If your baby is trying to take her first steps dont put heels on her. Hello!

    How do you know “your baby is trying to take her first steps”, does she send you a memo?

    You’re a moron. It’s baby, not a fucking fashion accessory. -ed.

  2. Trackback: Empowering Girls: Sexualization of Infants — The Girl Revolution

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