rape culture: saying “hey, maybe don’t rape people” leads to a flood of rape threats

Feminist confuses Faux News host by suggesting that we teach men not to rape. Of course, that host was Sean Hannity, who probably gets confused when he tries to figure out how the cream gets inside of a Twinkie.

His solution to rape is that women should be armed at all times. If that’s the best defense against rape, why is rape an “accepted job hazard” in the US military? That means that if you’re a woman and you join up, you’re basically told “Oh, bee tee dubs, you’re probably gonna get raped at some point. No suing!” That aside, this is what feminists are talking about when we talk about “rape culture”: that instead of telling women to constantly pack heat, or never drink in bars, or never walk after sunset except in packs of a dozen, or wear a burqa, or basically NEVER LEAVE THEIR HOUSE, we should instead be telling men “It’s not cool to rape women, regardless of the context”. The onus of rape shouldn’t be on what the victim was doing, or wearing, or drinking. It should be on the rapist.

If you are a man and you already know this, then congrats, you are a wonderful and enlightened person and “teach men not to rape” doesn’t apply to you. But you are still part of the problem if you refuse to accept that hundreds of thousands of men in this country alone don’t know those things, because we live in a rape culture that is not invested in teaching them. You are still part of the problem when you scoff at the phrase “rape culture” and pretend it’s a paranoid invention of hairy-legged man-hating feminists, instead of a thing that exists. You are still part of the problem when you pretend “teach men not to rape” translates to “all men are violent animals who would jump out of bushes and assault random female passers-by unless women smacked them with a rolled-up newspaper when they tried to do it”.

What “teach men not to rape” actually means is that we need to repeat, over and over and over again, until EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS WORLD ACTUALLY GETS IT, that skirt length does not determine the level of a woman’s culpability in her own assault. That having sex with a woman too drunk consent is in fact rape. That terms like “date rape” and “grey rape” and “acquaintance rape vs. stranger rape” are meaningless prevarications. That just because you didn’t knock a woman down and hold a knife to her throat, you could still be guilty of rape. It means a hundred different things, and none of those things is “all men would rape if they could get away with it”.

And I think most of the men making this accusation know it, on some level. Believe me, I get privilege. I’ve identified as white my entire life (recent revelations about my ancestry aside), and I’m familiar with the gut lurch that comes with being told that you are benefiting at someone else’s expense. You need to get over it and accept that people who belong to other genders or racial groups probably know what it’s like to be a member of that gender or racial group more than you do. You need to listen to their experiences and not dismiss them because they make you uncomfortable.

And the people scoffing that something so simple could never work: rape in Canada dropped 10% soon after that country began its “Don’t be that guy” ad campaign. Teaching men not to rape–fighting back against rape culture–does work. It’s the ONLY thing that’s been proven to work.

is michael karolchyk constantly shouting “no chubbies!” because the steroids have made him impotent?

Take me to MeMe Roth, we will have angry, malnourished sex and breed an army of fat haters!

Take me to MeMe Roth, we will have angry, malnourished sex and breed an army of fat haters!

Oh. my. god. Remember Michael Karolchyk, the violent, hateful douchebag who ran a gym featuring cage dancers, being pelted with cupcakes as a motivational technique, and commercials in which Karolchyk assaults fat women?

The good news is that his gym was raided by the IRS and shut down for non-payment of nearly $200,000 in taxes. And he could be in for some more legal trouble: after the shutdown, client files containing personal and private financial information were found in the dumpster behind the gym. He also apparently made such helpful notations on them as “lazy piece of shit”. You stay classy, Michael.

The bad news is that he’s found a second career of going on Faux News and proclaiming Regina Benjamin too fat to be Surgeon General. Apparently intelligence, experience, and obvious qualifications are not enough to be Surgeon General. You must also be svelte! Or at least if you’re black and/or female. He can tell not only exactly how much she weighs just by viewing video of her, but that she’s lazy (in spite of the fact that she rebuilt her clinic twice after it was destroyed by hurricanes) and makes “poor food choices”. He’s like a weight guesser at the County Fair! Only even less charming or reliable.

Part of me wants to rail against network news for putting on these so-called “experts” that have about as much credibility as Dr. Nick Riviera; but most of me just throws up my hands and says “Faux News. Whaddya gonna do?” (Answer: Write sarcastic blog postings about it.) Karolchyk is indulging in some staggeringly hypocritical stupidity when he says a fat woman can’t possibly be an effective Surgeon General, when his only claim to being some kind of health expert is that he hates fat people based on his own weird, deeply personal feelings.

Hat tip to Jezebel.

someone please inform faux news that “the onion” is not a real newspaper

This is why I would never wish for conservitards to disappear altogether. If you can’t be arsed to watch (but you really should), the above link is a clip from The Colbert Report, in which Stephen Colbert discusses a Fox & Friends report on the perils of catching herpes from playing beer pong. The only small problem with this ace reporting is that the original source of this startling news was a satirical website. Displaying their usual zeal for fact-checking, Faux News ran with it anyway.

They even managed to get commentary from a “doctor”, who I’m guessing went to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, since she apparently believes that herpes, the flu, and mono could be spread this way. Because the ball bounced off the floor for a fraction of a second before landing in the cup. Umm, “doc”? Those illnesses are all viral. Viruses are passed person-to-person; they need a host to survive and don’t tend to hang out on surfaces. That’s why you can’t really catch herpes from a toilet seat, no matter how vehemently your college boyfriends may have protested otherwise. I don’t care how dirty the typical frat den floor is, unless someone with herpes literally fucked the ping-pong ball before bouncing it into the beer cup, there’s simply no way this is possible.

And to think, we all worried when Obama was elected that Stephen Colbert would run out of things to mock.

But anyway, back to my original point: I would never wish for conservatives to go away altogether. I just want them reduced to a powerless fringe group that’s been stripped of their last vestige of influence, so we can all point and laugh at them. They’re like the geeks biting heads off of chickens in an old-timey freak show, except you don’t have to feel guilty about gawking at them, because most of them chose to be that grotesquely stupid.

Look, when it comes to trying to be funny, liberals are better. We all know that. As I’ve pointed out many times, Ann Coulter really does think she’s being “funny” when she shrieks homophobic slurs at her political enemies or calls 9/11 widows slutz00rz. Because the poor things simply do not grok “humor”.

But one area where they definately excel is the “inadvertantly hilarious” type of humor. And I guarantee you, if conservitards ever go totally extinct, we’ll never again experience the joy of watching newscasters say things like “It’s all fun and games… until someone gets herpes” or holler “There’s bacteria on my ball!” with a totally straight face. And that would make me a sad panda.

sad-panda

faux news: the secret to the obama’s sexytime hott marriage? FISTING.

Faux News and their asinine phrenologist body language “expert”, acting even more fucktarded than usual.

shorter* fox news

Yep, this big!

Because a black man was hanging out with other black men and engaging in traditional black male-dominated activities, Colin Powell is totes going to vote for the black dude.

Bonus:

I’M BLACK Y’ALL I’M BLACK Y’ALL I’M BLACKER THAN BLACK ‘CAUSE I’M BLACK Y’ALL

*”Shorter” concept stolen from Sadly, No!

fox news runs out of actual criticism, stoops to playground taunts

Are they for fucking real?

Why? Why does anyone still watch this crap network for anything other than entertainment??

fox news is no longer trying to hide the fact they’re a bunch of racist, sexist, classist assholes

You guys, I can’t even work up a good head of snark over this. It’s just so repellant, all I can do is throw up my arms in disgust.

They referred to Michelle Obama as Obama’s baby mama–several times, apparently.

Congratulations, Faux News. You’ve managed to be so vile, you’ve rendered me sarcasm-less. *golf clap*

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