his campaign manager is jack chick

OMFG, you guys. This is awesome. This lunatic County Commissioner for Oklahoma County, OK named Brent Rinehart is facing a tough re-election, as he’s slated to go on trial for felony campaign finance charges. So naturally, he’s released a self-drawn comic book to explain how it’s all a bunch of trumped-up hooey cooked up by a menacing cabal of homosexuals and, apparently, Satan.

Says County Assessor Leonard Sullivan of Rinehart: “I’ve encouraged him on more than one occasion to get professional help. He really needs it.” And spoil our fun?!

See a PDF of the whole glorious thing here. And note that in the fine tradition of functionally illiterate ranters everywhere, pedophile is spelled “pedifile”. Also, the way he’s drawn that woman’s hair makes it look like her brain is exposed.

i got your positive legacy right here!

The plan to rename San Francisco’s Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility after our most excrement-filled president inches closer to fruition: The initiative has qualified to be on the November ballot.

I am aware that Jesusland Redstatia is going to use this is another reason to bray about how CRAZEEE us California libruls are, with our “San Francisco values” (translation: enthusiastic approval of anal sex!) and our homersekshuls running loose in the streets. We don’t even make them wear pink triangles!

And you know what? THAT’S RIGHT, AND ALL YOU HATERZ CAN SUCK IT!!!

bento #44

Bottom:

• Mini tuna-tofu-miso burgers.
• Plain onigiri with fish bottle of soy sauce.

Top:

• Babybel cheese.
• Marinated sweet peppers.
• Green grapes.

And for dessert is a little wheat cake filled with chestnut paste.

Recipe for the burgers:

In a large sealable plastic bag, combine:

• 2 6 oz. cans of oil-packed tuna, thoroughly drained.
• 2 tbsp. mild white miso.
• 1/2 of a 10 oz. block of extra-firm tofu.
• About 5 finely chopped green onions.
• 4 tbsp. dry bread crumbs.
• 1 egg.

1. Smoosh all the ingredients together until thoroughly combined.
2. Heat a little olive oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Form golf ball-sized balls of the tuna, and flatten into little patties. Fry until well-browned on each side. Drain on paper towels.

This recipe didn’t call for an egg, but without it, it was basically a bag of crumbs and there’s no way they would have held together in the frying pan. I think the problem is that it calls for extra-firm tofu, which has a very crumbly texture. Next time I’ll either use a softer tofu, or leave it out altogether and use egg whites.

stitching, zombies, and fountain pens

My little exercise in bargello went well! I might even frame this. I think I can now say I have mastered the stitch.

This is a fairly large project I’ve been meaning to make for a while. It’s a true sampler in that it “samples” different techniques. Already in this little start, in addition to regular cross stitch I’ve also used: Padded satin stitch; rhodes; Smyrna crosses; mosaic stitch; rice stitch; and one of my personal favorites, blackwork. It also uses variegated and metallics in addition to regular floss. The darker metallic was supposed to be a copper, but I couldn’t find it at Michael’s (and since I stopped driving, going to a bunch of different places looking for one 99-cent item is too much of a pain in the rump), so I improvised by blending a strand of reddish-brown regular floss with a thin gold embroidery thread. I think it worked out quite well.

Saturday I needed to go to the Hub to mail Granny’s pillowcase from the UPS store, and thought I’d pop into Borders and get a new book. During my morning channel-surfing I caught parts of both Shaun of the Dead and Dawn of the Dead. So with that in mind I decided on World War Z, which so far is a decision I do not regret at all because it’s fucking awesome. I think I’ll read his other book too, The Zombie Survival Guide.

Was George Romero the first guy to come up with the whole zombies-attacking-and-eating-people thing, or did he just popularize it? Because in Vodoun, zombies aren’t really scary. The fear is of becoming a zombie, not of zombies themselves. Zombies are seen as more pitiful than anything to fear. And they certainly don’t eat people. That must have been just a weird mistranslation between cultures or something.

Lastly, I finally found a place to buy my favorite pens, the Pilot Petit 1. Before I had to trek all the way to Japantown, but thanks to the Pen Addict blog, I discovered JetPens. I ordered a couple of pens and a bunch of colored ink refills (it’s a fountain pen) on Friday, and I got them the next day! It helps that they ship from Mountain View, which is in the next county south from mine. Anyway, if you’re into pens, I recommend them.